When breastfeeding goes (ahem) tits up

olwyn pic me fred and sasha

When I was pregnant with Freddie, I planned to do what lots of enthusiastic middle class mums-to-be did- join the NCT, attend ante-natal classes, shit my baby out in a birthing pool and commence boobfeeding with gusto. Well, I managed to tick the first 3 off my list, but what happens when your plans of a mammary love-in with your newborn don’t go to plan? And what if you discover you just plain don’t like it?

Like many mums who attend ante-natal classes on breastfeeding, I just assumed it was something that would happen, like breathing, or a hosepipe ban despite a wet British winter. I would spend many happy hours gazing down lovingly at the tiny newborn suckling on my teet, basking in the glow of my new-found earth-mother status. Our freezer would be full of bags of breast milk, enabling us to skip off into the sunset sans baby every now and again, who would be at home with grandparents, happily guzzling my plentiful supply. Hell, I hadn’t spent hours down the local clinic, practicing holding a fake baby like a rugby ball  for nothing, had I?

WRONG. When Freddie was born, after a long but relatively straightforward labour, Adam and I were overwhelmed with love for our new little fella, but also both completely, fucking shattered. We’d been up for over 36 hours solid, snatching a few hours sleep, before cheerfully being discharged from our post-natal ward (the bed was needed), without even so much as a question as to whether or not we thought we were okay with breastfeeding. On arrival home, after a night of screaming and still not having a clue what we were doing (we’d got about as far as confirming that, yes, the nipple goes IN the baby’s mouth), a surly midwife arrived. Promptly telling us off for sharing a bed with Freddie (the only way he would sleep that first night), she roughly stuck baby on my boob, and flicking through her leaflets, told us that if we were still having ‘issues’ then we should drive the 5 miles to sunny Deptford to attend a breastfeeding clinic that afternoon. For a couple who had had zero sleep and were crawling around our flat like shell-shocked zombies, this was not an option, and we were left feeling helpless and alone. No one told us that we could have had someone over to help us daily, so in this respect we were unusually let down.

After a further night of F screaming his (hungry) little head off (we were taking it in turns to sleep at this point), Adam woke up, and wild-eyed, I handed him 3 day old Fred in his car seat, whispering in a dangerously quiet voice “take baby, put baby in car, drive to Waitrose, take baby out of car, put car seat in trolley, get formula, put baby back in car, drive home”, whilst I went and collapsed into bed.

Another 3 weeks went by, and I continued to express for dear life. I felt guilty that I couldn’t get my baby to take my damn nipple properly, and like i’d let him down. I was also buggered if I was going to waste the 100 quid we’d spanked on a brand new, electric Avent expressing machine, bought on the assumption that we’d be using it for all those freezer bags (ha!). The day I spent trying to stare intently at a picture of my baby, both boobs hanging out, one with that bloody machine attached to it, trying to milk myself enough milk for one feed, with ‘homes under the hammer’ playing out in the background was one of the most depressing times of my life. So after a month, it was game over as far as my boobs were concerned. I’d had enough. I think we’d all had enough. So the switch to forumla was made. And i’m not ashamed to say it felt GOOD. Everyone knew where they stood- baby was finally getting enough milk, Adam and I could share the feeds, and I felt marginally in control again. Life resumed.

When Sasha followed 15 months later, I was determined to give breastfeeding a second try. I was less shell-shocked and tired this time around, I knew where to go for help, more clued up. I gave my boobs a pep talk: “come on ladies, you can do it!”, and felt that this time, we would really crack it. Crack being the operative word. This baby would go on the nipple alright, and wouldn’t fucking let go. People who get on with breastfeeding talk about this rush of love, the glorious Oxytocin being released, the maternal equivalent of Ecstasy. I would look down at my tiny Pepto-bismal coloured barnacle baby, nawing on my tit for dear life, and feel simply sheer agony. No matter how many times I would try and reposition her, or the lovely midwife who came round daily would try, we just couldn’t get it right. Nipple shields did nothing. Throw in a nasty case of mastitis, and Dante’s Peak had nothing on my two. “Er, perhaps you don’t have the BEST nipples for feeding” she said tactfully.

After 2 weeks, the boob-feeding situation was taken out of my hands, when S was admitted to hospital with a serious bowel infection, meaning she was on a drip and couldn’t take any feed anyway. A week after this, I was admitted to intensive care after contracting Guillain-Barre Syndrome, and it was spelled out to me that it was bye bye own milk, hello Cow & Gate. But you know what? I secretly felt relieved. I just really didn’t like breastfeeding. Sure, the pain was a BIG factor in this, and I was glad that both babies had got that much-lauded colostrum and a bit extra, but I was actually glad to be bottle feeding again. I still felt close to my baby, loved snuggling up and gazing into her eyes for feeds. I was also bottle fed and for all intents and purposes am ‘fine’, so why did I feel guilty still, and like it was my dirty little secret that I was actually happy at the news from doctors that I wasn’t allowed to breastfeed?

I’ve been lucky in that I’ve never really come across anyone who’s judged me for formula feeding. I was the only one of my lovely NCT friends not to breastfeed, and never has one made me feel inferior, or has come across as smug, they were all really supportive and sympathetic. Besides, we mostly had other things to talk about, like SLEEP, and never once was it a THING. But, I’ve come across several people who have been made to feel like crap for not using the boob. One friend of mine spent weeks trying to feed her baby, and was on the brink of PND as she felt so much pressure to breastfeed, until she finally switched to formula and was much happier, although the guilt still lingered. Another new mum I met at an NCT baby group had her 9 week old baby with her, and actually APOLOGISED for bottle feeding. When I told her she had no need to apologise and told her my story, she visibly relaxed.

I hate seeing FB posts and ‘shares’ on the evils of formula feeding. Whilst i’m personally not keen on formula companies and their alleged dubious ethics in 3rd world countries (yes, i’m talking to YOU, Nestle), i’m afraid us folk of the bottle wielding variety don’t have much of a choice.  Hell, I got a bigger choice of which chilled white to go with a fish dish in Sainsbos, than I ever did when it came to choosing formula for my babies.

Of course, this post may appear that I am not for breastfeeding, but the truth is, I totally am, or at least the right to choose without being made to feel like you’re poisoning your baby. Breastfeeding is proven to be the best start for your baby anti-bodies wise, is convenient (IF you find it easy), not to mention cheap. God, if I got on with BF I would’ve done it for my baby, the ease of night feeding would’ve been immense, and by the end of 6 months we were ready to burn our steriliser (SUCH a pain in the arse). I have a couple of friends who are training to be breastfeeding counsellors, and they do an incredible, selfless job- I REALLY wish I’d had one when Freddie was a newborn. Breastfeeding rates in this country are still extremely low compared to others, and the more advice out there and encouragement the better, WITHOUT making mothers who don’t feel bad.

So to those who breastfeed and can’t imagine not, we love and want the best for our babies just as much as you. For every cliched young bottle-feeding Bay-bee Mutha saving their boobs for their fella, there are probably half a dozen unjustly-ashamed mums, who desperately tried to breastfeed their babies and couldn’t, or perhaps just chose not to…

Photo courtesy of Olwyn Hinds, circa 2012. Okay, so photos of bottle feeding babies never look quite as pretty as breastfeeding ones, especially when you’re managing a toddler as well!

Linking up with Honest Mum’s ‘Brilliant Blog Posts’! and Let’s Talk Mommy’s ‘Share With Me’

55 thoughts on “When breastfeeding goes (ahem) tits up”

  1. Fabulous post bex! I think it’s really important to ditch the baby feeding hsng ups people have snd seem to judge you for! Yes I breast fed both my girls until going back to work and no it was not at all easy or pain free especially the first month or so, but do I feel smug? Not at all. Would I ever judge anyone else on how they CHOOSE to feed THEIR babies? Never ever! We live in a time when we do have a choice and what’s better than a happy baby and a happy Mum. Since becoming a parent it’s amazed me how many people feel they can judge, and offer “helpful” advice. From strangers feeling they can touch your pregnant belly, to telling you to put a cardi on your baby cuz it’s probably cold and why it’s crying! Seriously it’s hard enough being a parent! Arghhhhh rant over!

  2. Too right! The same people who would “pat me on the back” for breast feeding will also be the first to judge me for having an epidural first time, (regardless of circumstance) or for going back to work (whether I wanted to or not!) or for having the wrong branded pram! So long as you do actually feed your baby, it’s not for any one to pass judgement! Well that’s what I think anyway x

  3. Your photo may not be ‘pretty’, but it makes me laugh rather than cry! I love this post and its honesty. I’m all for teaching mums-to-be about the benefits of breastfeeding, supporting women’s right to breastfeed wherever the hell they like, funding more breastfeeding counsellors, all of it. I just wish it didn’t have to come with the huge guilt complex so many of us seem to end up with. I swore I wouldn’t give into it, but when you get funny looks & comments from other mums despite having tried your absolute bestest (which, in the end, is definitely good enough), it’s hard not to let it get to you.So yes, thank you for reminding everyone that breastfeeding can and does go tits up in the real world!

  4. I’m reading this whilst breastfeeding my 6 week old and second baby. I would be reading this whilst bottle feeding her had it not been for a charity funded breastfeeding counsellor who was texting me support, encouragement and advice at 11pm on day 4 when my breasts were covered in blood from my nipples and I was begging my partner to get formula. I did not get the same support (no one advised me it was out there! ) with my first born who refused to latch, so I pumped and cup fed whilst I kept trying for 6 weeks until my boobs dried up from the stress of it all.

    Whilst I think mums should at least try to breastfeed and should have easy access to good support, at the end of the day I don’t really care how a baby is fed and more importantly, no one should judge because you just don’t know the whole story.

    1. That’s right, Jade, people shouldn’t judge. I think early support is crucial, but even then it sometimes just doesn’t happen, or people decide they don’t want to carry on, which I think is equally fine. Good for you though managing to breastfeed your second baby and I’m glad you’ve had what sounds like fantastic support. 🙂

  5. Such a great post Becky. THANK YOU!! I felt so naive going into breastfeeding- partly because nowhere in the lead up did i read any ‘pit falls’ about boobage feeding. & It’s a subject that needs a helleva lot more publicity & support for new mums. It’s ironic that once you ‘whisper’ about how hard you found it, or struggles you encounter, more & more mum’s feel brave to share their BF struggles too: As if by admitting it didn’t work/ they didn’t like it, they’re committing a sin, or being judged by society!
    It really angers me. It’s almost like, you’re dammed if you do, & you’re dammed if you don’t. If you whip a boob out whilst in public-i Guarantee someone, somewhere, along the line will make a stupid comment like ‘thats not appropriate to do here’ (WHAT!!) & if you get a bottle out, you’re judged for feeding ‘synthetic’ rather than natural.
    We had major, major issues with Bear & his feeding (& my poor poor ‘twins’) due to tongue tie, fortunately we had a fab support network of family around us, who were so kind & able to help us emotionally& financially with medical costs.
    I love that you’ve put this ‘out there’ & totally agree with everything you’ve said. No judgey pants here, healthy mamas & healthy babies, however that is achieved 🙂 xx (different strokes for different folks!)

    1. Thanks lovely! Totally agree that everyone is different, and what works for one person/baby won’t work for another! Read your post on tongue-tie and it must have been such a hard time.I think that for lots of people who end up bottle feeding it feels like a dirty little secret, or something they feel ashamed of, and I want to change this. xx

  6. More power to you for making the decision that worked for you. We were close to formula in the early days with h but then milk arrived. But he soon needed it for top ups as I couldn’t keep up! No judgement here and well done for raising two gorgeous bubbas #brilliantblogposts

  7. COP OUT! I had a nightmare labour, haemorrhaged, had a blood transfusion and went on to breast feed for a year. You’re lazy and didn’t try hard enough.

    1. Hi Sue Bromfield, it’s comments like yours that make other women feel like shit. So you had a difficult birth and then managed to breastfeed- what do you want? A medal? If you read my post properly you’ll see that I had lack of support with my first baby, and was told by doctors that I couldn’t continue to feed my second because of a life threatening illness. So not ‘lazy’ as you so kindly put it, but actually relieved, because you know what? I didn’t actually like breastfeeding. So shoot me! I bet you would NEVER tell a friend or family member to their face that they were lazy, would you? Or they had copped out? Because it’s so easy to be bitchy behind a computer screen, huh? Have a nice evening Sue!

  8. Well done and thank you for writing this. You have really highlighted also that all new mothers need better support. Xx

  9. Brilliant post Beckie. I felt similar to you with my first and was deermined like you to make it with my second. I had 9 bloody years to prepare (bit of an age gap between my boys!) but I just couldn’t do it past a few weeks. We were breaking down as a family unit and they were threatening to take sully into hospital because of weightloss and long lasting jaundice. We had no support either time and no knowledge of any out there, I wish I had at the time. But thats my story. I cried for hours with that first bottle of formula as I felt a failure and was genuinely distraught at what those around me would say, afterall we’re a laid back hippy bedsharing family! But then he changed, we changed. Things became calm, manageable, we smiled instead of grimacing, he put on weight and lost his jaundice. We slept. It just worked for us all. I am the biggest breastfeeding advocate and would love all babies to have boob juice or be given access to that of donors (which I also had no idea about!) Id never judge a mother for breastfeeding and equally id never judge a mother for bottle feeding either. There is no abuse going on here, no neglect, just a difference in feeding. As a mother and woman i choose to stand shoulder to shoulder and support all my fellow kind, caring, nurturing mother however they end up feeding!

    1. Your story sounds so similar to us first time around! I know it’s a cliche, but i’m so an advocate of the ‘happy mum, happy baby’ mentality. I think if i’d have carried on past that awful first month with F, then I possibly would have been on the road to PND. It’s awful that so many of us feel worried about what others think. We’re also bedsharing, sling wearing sorts, so I guess don’t fit into anyone’s image of a certain type of parent!

  10. This is a sodding awesome post. You’ve properly brought this issue to life with both great writing and humour, no mean feat in such a fricking unfunny subject (when you’re actually going through it). I was ‘lucky’ I got it to work, eventually, but mix fed straight away to keep the ‘anyone can do it’ door open, and sweated through last summer with knockers the size and shape of a couple of butternut squash. yeah it felt good to be able to say I’d done it, but when the baby gave it up of her own accord 7months later, we were both happy with formula. Doesn’t matter how you feed them, as long as you do. Big love for this post x

  11. Aah thanks Eleanor! It’s great to have the support of breastfeeding Mums too on this touchy subject, i’m hoping it will help people get a perspective from ‘the other side’ and realise we’re all just human and want the best for our babies. Feel free to share the post with others you may think it will benefit! x

  12. Absolutely agree with so much of this. I was determined to breast feed, I attended NCT, I visualised beautiful lazy mornings lying in bed nursing my newborn. But guess what, it doesn’t always work. NCT will tell you less than 2% of women ‘can’t breastfeed’ but the NHS has very different stats. Maybe if we were living in different times, where we gave birth and were in a maternity unit for a week before going home where we were then sent to bed with the baby for 6 weeks, with our mothers/grandmothers next door to give constant support and advice, things might be different. But my experience was similar to yours Becky, a relatively straightforward water birth, 2 weeks early so a shock, and home within 5 hours with no idea if what I was doing was right, whilst equally being unable to walk. I persevered for 10 days, which sounds like nothing, but when you’re in it, my god those days feel like years. After 4 days I told my husband I’d rather go through labour again than cope with this. My daughter had a small mouth, a high palate and a super strong suck and I was scabbing over within hours of giving birth. By day 10 I’d had a bout of mastitis, my daughter was swallowing blood with every feed and my nipples were gaping, weeping sores. Even expressing was agony. My baby was not getting fed, her tiny body lost weight and with zero muscle strength she was flinging herself from one boob to the other because she was STARVING. It was the worst time of my life, I fed for 14/15 hours a day and she wasn’t even gaining weight. I saw a midwife on day 10 and she was horrified by the state of my breasts and her exact words were ‘under no circumstances but baby directly to breast for 2 weeks or I guarantee you will be suicidal within those 2 weeks’. Obviously NHS midwives see a lot more ‘failures’ like us than the blissful NCT breastapo. The NCT treated me disgustingly when I turned to them for help, and I’m not the first. One sleep deprived, agonising night (when I was still bleeding, recovering from a tear, and meanwhile we were packing up our flat on our own with a 9 day old baby because we had to move house in two days) I actually googled ‘depression/suicide over breastfeeding’ just to see if anyone felt the same way, there are news reports of women throwing themselves off roofs after meeting with lactation consultants. Tell me how that’s ‘best for baby’?

    My lovely, healthy girl has had 1 cold in 8 months, she’s fiercely intelligent and already starting to communicate with us, she’s perfect. And she’s been on pure formula since 5 weeks at the recommendation of NHS midwives, health visitors and a lactation consultant who all came to see me trying so hard (one even laughed in disbelief at how perfect the latch looked, then how awful my nipple was after the feed). I had friends who had successfully breast fed in tears with me, telling me to stop putting myself through it.

    And, SUE, one of my best friends haemorrhaged 5 pints of blood during labour and she nearly died, and she breastfed for a year too, because guess what, breastfeeding WORKED for her. It’s irrelevant what your labour was like, it’s what breastfeeding is like for you! Idiot. That’s like saying to someone who dropped out of running a marathon with a broken ankle is lazy because a year before the marathon you had food poisoning but you still finished it. It’s just….completely illogical! And also very nasty to be so opinionated as a fellow mother.

    1. Thanks so much for your comment Nat- what a tough time you had 🙁 Just goes to show that sometimes, no matter how hard you try, or how perfect the latch is, it just doesn’t work out the way you intended. It needs to be talked about more at ante-natal classes, that whilst breastfeeding is encouraged, and vital support given, that you are NOT a failure and your baby will NOT suffer, if you don’t get to grips with it.

  13. I almost killed myself the first time around. For the first time in my life, there was time I was in so much pain I thought I would die. It was THAT bad. And yet, I killed myself to pump for 6.5 months. It made me tired, and bitter, and cranky. Before I switched to the pump, my baby’s cry gave my chills because I knew what was coming. My husband didn’t know what to do to help me. Things got tense between us. And I because I just HAD to breastfeed. The second time around I quite while I was still ahead (well not really ahead because again I had to suffer from deadly pain for 2 weeks, and with pain like that every minute counts really). I told my husband (who was worried I would choose the suicidal path I’d chosen with our first son) to take me to the hospital and get me one of those notorious magic pills. When they told us they didn’t use those pills anymore, I threatened to kill someone. That’s when the pills magically apeared, and my journey to stopping lactation began. Yes I felt guilty that I had quit. Yes I was sad that I had given my son so much more than his baby brother. But you know what? We were all happy. I was happy. My poor four-year-old who watched me suffer and couldn’t get himself to hug me anymore was happy. My husband was ecstatic. And baby was baby… He couldn’t care less what he was getting, as long as he was getting it. And not that he’s 14 months old and healthy and strong and super active and extremely happy, I am so glad I made the decision to stop. When breastfeeding becomes a form of torture, you know you need to stop, no matter what anyone says. And your picture beautiful! Because you all look so amazingly happy!

    1. Hi Leila, thank you for your comment (and for your lovely comments re our photo!). I’m sorry you had a rough time. I think for some Mums it just isn’t for the best to breastfeed i.e. when depression because of it sets in. I felt the same as you with Sasha’s cries, that I felt my heart sink when she did, as I knew I would have to endure the excruciating pain again. Cliche, but big believer here in happy Mum = Happy baby. Wishing you all the best!

  14. A vital post, I believe mothers need to do what’s right for them-if breastfeeding makes you miserable, isn’t working and ill (so sorry you were so poorly), how is that helping your baby. Breastfeeding came easy to me but I breastfeed for too long in my opinion with 7 months for Oliver, I was so exhausted and he was constantly hungry-not sure my breastmilk was satisfying enough enough before the 6 month mark. I did both with Alexander and stopped earlier and it worked for me. We need to stop the judgement and ramp up the support. No one is denying the scientific research that breastfeeding is best for your baby (I even made a film pre kids about it) but it’s not always the right way for everyone. Thanks for linking up to #brilliantblogposts

    1. Thanks Vicki! You’ve hit the nail on the head with saying that we need to stop judgement and provide better and more consistent support for those that do want to crack it. I also think we need to assist in letting Mum’s know when enough might be enough i.e. Mum is succumbing to depression because of it, but won’t stop as feels so guilty.

  15. Just discovered your blog – love it. Will defintiely be back. I had trouble breastfeeding my second and the guilt, disappointment and obsession gave me PND. Wholeheartedly agree that women need more support, espeically when things go wrong. I swear I could have done with counselling, they put so much pressure on us. x

    1. Thanks, Jude! Like i’ve said to others, we need to provide better support for those who do want to give it a really good go, but also to know when to stop and to lay off the guilt, as Mum’s mental (and physical) health is just as important as baby’s x

  16. Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me. What a great post. I can relate to the difficulties and having to quit. I had that with Missy Moo and felt guilty that I bf my first for a year but couldn’t with my second after a hospital visit too. It’s so hard but like you said it almost is a relief too. There is nothing wrong with either way. Hope to see you again tomorrow for a new round of Share With Me. Feel free to link this up again since you were at the end you might not have got as many comments. Or an old favorite is always welcome. #sharewithme

    1. Thanks, Jenny, glad you liked it. Such a sensitive subject but hoped that by being open about it, it might help others in similar situations 🙂 Will share again tomorrow- got on board a bit late this week! Will add a couple of oldies-but-goodies too!

      1. Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me with this post. I hope you have got more mothers talking about it in similar situations. Yes I think it should be more open too. That’s ok I always say if you are late link up the same post again. We are friendly and happy to share here at Share With Me. #sharewithme

  17. I’ve breastfed all six of my babies but I never enjoyed it, I don’t feel guilty for that, it’s not a feeling I can change, some of us are just like that. I agree with you that we should all stop judging each other and accept that we are all different which is a good thing. #ShareWithMe

  18. My goodness you really had a tough time, both times! Fab post and I am absolutely of the opinion that while breastfeeding may be ideal, that it isn’t always possible for everyone and that no mother should ever feel judged for formula feeding their baby. I found breastfeeding excruciating to start with and eventually got the hang of it using nipple shields – but the only help that wasn’t judgemental or didn’t make me feel like an idiot came from the internet. Unfortunately the ‘support’ I got from midwives and “breastfeeding experts” had the absolute opposite effect and only my intense stubbornness led to me continuing with breastfeeding (even after 3 bouts of mastitis) for 6 months. By then Monkey had teeth and I needed my body back so moved to formula. Baby no.2 is on the way and I will see how breastfeeding goes this time, with some experience under my belt, but if it is causing more stress then I will go straight to formula. Really great post 🙂 xx #sharewithme

    1. Thanks Caroline! I found using nipple shields hard, they just seemed to keep falling off all the time, haha! I think Mums’ experiences are so hit and miss depending on the support they have around them at the time. My first midwife who called round the day after having Freddie was awful, but the one I had with Sasha was great and came every day to see how I was getting on, as she knew I wanted to give it a go even though I didn’t like it. Good work for being so stubborn! 😉 x

  19. That is just the kind of post I would have needed before I started breastfeeding my first. I just did not have a clue! I knew no one who had ever breastfed, other than my sister-in-law, and the one class on breastfeeding was just telling us that it would be easy and natural. I did struggle so much with my first, was in agony for what I remember to be weeks before it got OK. It was not easy, and I am glad we had some formula at home for top-ups. Mel #SharewithMe

      1. One of my friends had been told at her NCT class not to buy a breast pump or bottles not to be tempted to give up! I thought that advice was shocking and it made me go to the shop to get everything I might need!

  20. Very honest post. You tried your best and you shouldn’t be judged. Our little boy was born premature, so with being fed via a drip for 3 weeks, tongue tie and not developing the ability to latch on I expressed for 3 months. There was immense pressure put on me to breastfeed, mainly because with being born prem they class it as medicine, which I totally brought into. I also went to NCT classes and wanted to try breastfeeding. I found myself explaining why I’d stopped expressing, but honestly we struggled to leave the house, I was expressing every 3 hours, then feeding, no sooner had I changed the nappy, baby had a nap or a play I needed to express again. I wouldn’t change it, thank the lord for the hospital loaning me an electric pump, bows to Medela. Its wrong for people to judge although, unlike you lots of people choose not to breastfeed because it’s tough or they don’t understand it, its easy to pop on the bottle. At least you tried. I am an advocate of breastfeeding but also believe in that the start of parenting is so tough that is it really worth the additional heartache and stress.

    1. I think you’re amazing for pumping for 3 months- I did it for a month with F, and it nearly finished me off mentally and physically! I think I would totally be like you though if my baby was prem, like you said, it is the best medicine if possible. I think mums (and dads) have to weigh up the benefits of BF vs Mum’s mental health, if weeks have gone by and it’s causing tears and real upset. Thanks so much for commenting! 🙂

      1. Thank you, it was tough but I saw it as my job to give him the best start. I completely agree with you though, there is a balance of it becoming too stressful x

  21. I agree with you and think that mothers everywhere should respect the decision to breastfeed (or not) no matter what. When I was pregnant with my twin daughters, I had this deluded idea that I’d be able to feed them both at the same time and that I’d suddenly turn into some sort of earth mother. After a traumatic birth when everything that could have gone wrong did, I suffered a PPH, was too unwell to feed either of them and ended up bottle feeding. I wish that I could have given breastfeeding a try but sadly, it wasn’t an option.

  22. Good for you for having the courage of your own convictions and not getting bogged down by guit (and for writing such a humourfilled post). Personally I think we all do whatever we feel is best, and should be left to get on with it!

    Have to say though, I don’t have any love for Nestlé – having heard some first hand accounts while travelling in Asia – they really are as evil as they are pegged to be!!

  23. Great post. I too had feeding issues with my first and limped on with expressing for 9 weeks, it was not nice and I was glad to give up. My milk didn’t come in until day 5, my baby had lost too much weight and was readmitted to hospital with jaundice at a week old as a result and I was TOLD to give formula in hospital to prevent her getting dehydrated and not take her out the incubator, I ended up expressing my first proper milk and going home with a baby who wanted a bottle not me and no one to help me get the latch back. The second time around breastfeeding happened really naturally and we sailed through to the 6 month mark. Well done you for trying, a happy mum means a happy baby, however they are fed. #sharewithme

  24. Great post, and totally echoes my own post on the same subject, its all about choice and when women are made to feel bad because of their choices, there is something wrong. We all love our babies and want the best for them, and sometimes that is formula.

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