Sick days with small kids: The reality

Sick days with small kids: The reality

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Now, I don’t consider myself a sickly person, bar the twice-yearly case of man-flu that seems to descend on our house. And you know what? That’s a bloody good job. Being a parent to small children when you’re laid low is HELL. A hangover is bad enough, but if you are floored by flu and can barely drag your sorry arse out of bed, then I can vouch that your teeny-tiny-spawn-of-satan offspring will have ZERO sympathy for you. As a parent, you know if you have are having to have a sick day, things must be BAD. As I can vouch for this past weekend…

6.20am – Get woken up by Freddie (4), who deposits himself in middle of me and OH, demanding Milkshake on CH5. Realise last night’s ‘tiredness’ was actually onset of massive bout of ‘Manflu’. Feel dreadful and like a thousand evil pixies are using jackhammers all over my body. Tongue flails out of mouth, sticking to side of pillow. Lie there, willing OH to get up. 

6.30am – Small boy is joined by Sasha (2), who climbs into bed, sitting on my head, nearly ripping my nose stud out in the process. Wake up IMMEDIATELY….

7.15am – Swift kick to OH’s shins to take, by now, feral children downstairs, all whilst telepathically willing OH to bring Lemsip up. Realise telepathy has slim chance of garnering favoured result, therefore whimper for Lemsip instead.

7.25am – Children deposited downstairs, Lemsip brought upstairs. Now fully awake, despite imminent death from Manflu (Screw you, body clock). Decant Lemsip in cake-hole.

7.40am – Attempt to go back to sleep after reassurance from OH that everything will be under control. 

8.00am – All is clearly not under control, as per the wailing/fighting/terse voices coming from downstairs in the abyss. Drag arse to the living room to add ‘presence’ to ganged up on OH, crawl under blanket on sofa. 

8.05am – Small children swarm around sofa like flies round sh*t, excited at the prospect of a ‘patient’, and trot off to gather together plastic doctor’s implements. 

8.10am – Said implements are shoved in any free orifice “to check if you’re okay to catch the train!” and, “let’s see how much Calpol you need!” as mouth is wrenched open. According to all that probing, I am “fine, just about”. 

8.20am – Lie on sofa face down, dozing. Kids present toy cars, and play the “let’s pretend Mummy’s a mountain!” game, which is actually bearable, and used often in past hangover situations. Kids entertained, and a massage in one #winning (slightly)

9.00am – Small children taken out by OH to the shops/library to be ‘exercised’. Retreat to bed. 

11.00am – Woken up in cold sweat from vivid sick dreams in terrifying fashion, after discovering F’s face about half a cm from mine. 

11.10am – F gets into bed to ‘help’ me sleep. Closely followed by S. “Let’s build a den, Mummy!” she says. Let’s not… 

11.15am – Sasha – “Why are you in bed?” Me – “Because I’m poorly”. Repeat x 10 in space of ten minutes.

11.25am – OH retrieves small children (eventually).

12.00pm – Repeat ad infinitum until bedtime….

 

Linking up with ‘Let’s Talk Mommy’ and ‘Share With Me’

15 Comments

  1. February 23, 2015 / 7:53 pm

    Oh darling I really feel your pain, we were all floored by flu in December and it was awful! Hopefully this is a reflective post and you aren’t ill again xxx PS. Your bookshelf looks just like ours, overflowing and lots of the same titles 🙂

    • Becky
      Author
      February 23, 2015 / 9:31 pm

      Sadly it’s illness from this weekend gone- still feeling crap but hopefully on the mend! Bloody bugs! x

  2. February 24, 2015 / 8:23 am

    Oh no – I truly do feel for you. In our house the speciality seems to be I go down with something, womanfully continue to cope with the assorted small people desperately hanging on knowing that if I can just get to the weekend H will be home and I can sleep and get properly better and then he goes down with the same thing at 5pm on Friday! Having said that the time we both got norovirus we phoned his parents to take Kitty for the day while we got better!!

    • Becky
      Author
      February 25, 2015 / 9:19 pm

      Noooooo that sounds awful! Thank goodness for your in-laws!

  3. February 25, 2015 / 7:44 am

    Oh no!!!! I’m really sorry but I had to laugh at this, so funny!! But equally terrifying!! Sounds like your mr did a pretty good job over all though bless him!! X

    • Becky
      Author
      February 25, 2015 / 9:20 pm

      He’s normally pretty useful but even then seems to not realise that being ill means DO NOT LET THE KIDS DISTURB ME at all!

  4. Megan - Truly Madly Kids
    February 25, 2015 / 10:51 am

    Sorry, but this did make me laugh! This is so the reality! You never get a sick day when you are a mum!

    I always grumble with OH that when he is ill – he goes off and lies in the spare room, whilst I continue as normal when ill …

    • Becky
      Author
      February 25, 2015 / 9:21 pm

      Yup, that’s about the same here! OH is pretty good overall, but I have to REALLY be ill i.e. start sobbing pitifully so he gets the memo that he’ll need to take the day off work to help out! 🙂

  5. Mim
    February 25, 2015 / 4:44 pm

    Oh bless you, this is funny, despite the sickness of course! Ah life is just not the same with small people isn’t it. You wouldn’t want it any other way of course but just a liiiiittttttle bit of ‘me time’ might be nice sometimes when you’re ill! Mim @ http://www.mamamim.com #ShareWithMe

    • Becky
      Author
      February 25, 2015 / 9:21 pm

      Just a bit of the undisturbed kind would be good! 😉

  6. Potty Mouthed Mummy
    February 27, 2015 / 10:59 am

    I have just howled with laughter at this lovely, bloody brilliant. Mummy sick days are the worst ha ha xx ps hope you’re better!!!

    • Becky
      Author
      February 28, 2015 / 7:11 am

      Thanks lovely, I’m better now although was ill for like a whole week- unheard of and so impractical when you have children! x

  7. Charlene
    February 27, 2015 / 12:54 pm

    Excellent post! The two days I had stomach flu were some of the hardest childcare days I’ve had. I only had the energy to text my other half ‘come home now’.

    • Becky
      Author
      February 28, 2015 / 7:11 am

      Thank you! It really does suck being ill when you have young children!

  8. March 8, 2015 / 3:43 am

    Oh so true with small children! I am glad we don’t have a Dr kit yet! Though if we did I’d send him into daddy when daddy is hungover…..

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