How to Feel Closer to Family (And Why It’s So Hard Sometimes)

Your family are the people you have a natural connection with, but you have moments when you wish there was more of an emotional closeness. Being related doesn’t immediately mean that you have a tight bond. Whether you want to feel more connection with direct family like siblings or those a bit further away on the family tree, like cousins, you can start to do so with a few of the suggestions below. 

Put Quality Time on the Calendar

You might not feel very close to a parent, child, sister, or someone else if you have not spent a lot of time together. There are many reasons for that, such as a large age gap between you and a sibling that meant they were not around much growing up. Whatever the reason, now is the time to put in the time to strengthen the relationship, especially as it is now so important to you.

There are many ways to do so, including planning activities that you both find enjoyable. That could be hikes or dinners together. It could be as simple as meeting for coffee on a rainy day at a local cafe. 

The main thing is the quality of the interaction, from talking about what’s important in one another’s life right now to getting to know what makes one another smile. So, it doesn’t have to be an expensive or overly complicated activity you do together. Really, it’s the shared time that matters the most.

As for putting the activity on the calendar, that is important so that you do not delay it for something else that comes up (unless it’s urgent, of course). When you treat it like a work meeting or dental appointment on the calendar, then you stick with it and follow through with the effort to spend time together. It’s tempting to put it off, especially if there are awkward silences between you two, but it is worth the effort.

Communicate with Honesty

Putting on a fake smile and pretending all is okay isn’t going to help build the connection, no matter how much time you spend together. Glossing over past traumas or issues in the relationship will only keep you at arm’s length from one another. While there can be enjoyable moments talking about surface-level things, you are more likely to feel closer when you share deeper emotions. Being vulnerable with another person has a way of doing that.  

That does not mean that you need to start with the tough stuff, though. You might ease into it as you start to have more interactions with the relative. Starting slow can help you both feel more comfortable around the other person and get more of a feel of when it’s right to start to open up.

When it does feel right, be honest and respectful in communications. And be ready for the fact that the other person may not reciprocate that; you may strike a cord in them that unleashes strong emotion, and they lash out instinctively. Family dynamics can be hard, and it is a unique relationship because of that. Sensitivities happen. You can hope, though, that they will come back and want to talk more after they calm down, in an honest, open way. Future dialogue can help you two feel closer, which is what you really want. 

Share Your Hobbies with Them (Even Virtually)

It can be especially challenging to get close to a family member who lives far away. You cannot just meet at a local diner to catch up after work. But it is certainly not impossible, thanks in large part to technology.

Smartphones can help in many ways, from texts to video and voice calls, and you can do these things conveniently on the go. A long physical distance between the two of you does not have to limit your interactions, no matter how busy you both are. Along with talking to them and texting by phone, you can also start to build a connection by sharing your love of electronic games with them. 

Choose a game that has a social aspect to it so that you two can talk later about your experiences playing it. Talking about a hobby you both like makes for an easy conversation starter. For example, after finishing a fun game of Wordle, you can share the once-daily results using the share button to challenge family. See if they can get as much of a kick out of the daily word puzzle as you do! It’s a good-natured competition that creates positive interaction with a relative, even when you don’t live physically close to one another.

Conclusion: Getting Closer to Family

Feeling a connection with relatives doesn’t always happen naturally, but you can help close the emotional gap with a bit of effort. Breaking down walls can be challenging, but with some effort, it really can happen. Important moments are about to happen. 

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Becky

Meet the award-nominated UK lifestyle blogger behind Spirited Puddle Jumper – a mum of three living in South East London! Becky shares the real ups and downs of family life, parenting tips, and lifestyle inspiration, proving that being a mum doesn’t mean you stop being fun or having other interests! Follow along for honest insights into UK family life and opinions on a whole range of topics, from travel and food, to beauty reviews, home and DIY, business and health and wellness.